End of Journey

Assalamualaikum..
I posted this,my muaddal for graduation :')
Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah..
Cannot say with words how grateful I am.
Like all the hard works finally pay off.
All those tears haha... All the worries I gave to myself and my parents and all the laughter and happiness.
I dont post this to show off. No. Never. I dont have that kind of intention at all.
I posted this as a token of reminder, so that later in the future if I am feeling down, I can always remember that there have been days when I am actually happy and proud with myself.
All of these came from Allah and not myself.
And I am eternally grateful.
Amin...
And thanks everyone who have prayed for me :)
Getting Mumtaz is something that I have been wishing for.
And thanks Allah for giving it to me.

so then i decided to run more,laugh more then cry more

then i saw that a heart can always be broken

and can always be mended

and cloud will always move

like a bad day would

-thoughts and thinking-

Too Busy

It's been such a busy days.
These past few days.
Phew..
Can only be calm after I've settled all my things that need to be posted to Malaysia.

Waking Up

At times, it felt so hard to even wake up.
To face another day.
And at times, it felt so great to wake up.
To get another day.
Another chance.
To make things right.
To make things better.
To be better.
And as for today, I am grateful.
That I am still alive.
Sincerely,
By me.

Imbalance

Assalamualaikum :)
May peace be upon you!
Final exams is nearing the end fuhh..
Have straight 3 papers from 18-20/6 and I am so damn tired.
This time, I dont know why but I feel like there are sooooOOOOoo many challenges.
I have problem with several people and most importantly, I dont have a peaceful heart. To the point that I have to, hmmm... let just say several people knew what I've done and all. I dont know why. Whether it is because of hormonal imbalance or what.

I still dont have a peaceful heart. Even now. Just after maghrib I've read the Quran and there is an ayat about how this life and everything that Allah gives is only for a while,only in this dunya and all the things that we love is not for forever. And the life in hereafter,with Allah is the one that last forever. And I cry. Mainly because I felt like I want to return to Him. I felt like, I really want to be in that good place,with Allah :( but I have sinned so many times. I'm so ashamed to ask even for that very rightful place with Allah. At a point, I feel like many things in life are pointless. Like, shouldnt I just strive for jannah but then yes,you cant achieve the jannah that easy..life is a pathway to jannah. Allah..

I want that rightful place, with Allah. I want all those things that last forever. I think I'm being tested now, whether my heart is strong or not, to face challenges. Most of the problems have been settled alhamdulillah :) but still, I dont feel good. And I keep crying while reading the Quran. I feel so immature lately. Feeling sad over the pettiest things. I dont even care about it before. And I keep getting the feelings that people dont love me, that people are ignoring me and so on. And it makes me sad. And I hate that feelings, it comes with lots of bad thoughts.

Need to grow up faster maybe.

Leaving

Thinking back, I feel like I want to run away.
Can I? I hate where I am right now, I mean the situation I'm in right now.
I just HATE it!

Hypocrite

Sometimes we have to realize that not everyone are meant to stay in our life.
Some people are meant to come and go.
Even though your friend.
Lately I've realized and come to a conclusion, I CANNOT depend on a PERSON.
I mean, well, they come and then go.
Your friend can easily replace you with someone else.
Your friend find and need you only when they need something else.
Then some of them dispose you. Make like you didnt exist.
I am TIRED with this kind of people.
I dont want hypocrite people, hypocrite friendship.
I dont want people who use me.
I dont want and dont need all of that.

Sometimes... I just wish these people would just GO.
End of story.   xc