Alone in a Lonely Street

Assalamualaikum....
Yes it's been such a hard phase lately, the moody and feeling down lately.
Actually,because of these not-so-good feelings,I've been praying especially in solat,so that I can be husnuzzon always with everything,all things Allah has planed,all people around me but centainly I'm not feeling better.

It's not much but it's just the feeling that you are not needed,that people didnt notice you exist,didnt notice you have problems,the feelings that people dont care at all whatever happen to you. Yes,I'm feeling that,with most people and things around me. Like,for example, before this, earlier on, when I'm still new in 'tarbiyah', I remembered so many sisters came to me and keep asking if I have problems etc but nowadays,yeah,there was barely anyone (except for my current murobbi) and I understand that everyone is busy and I'm in the phase in which,I cannot be too soft on myself, I need to be strong.

But seriously I'm a normal human being and sometimes life is wearing me,taking me down.And there are so many things I've done,wrote just to show my cry for help and rarely a person come and ask for my problems. And then I remembered how a friend have wrote in her FB's status,claiming that she has problems and dozens of people came and asked her what her problems is,giving her support and I didnt get any of that.

And I keep wondering,am I unworthy now?I feel like people rarely see how hard I try,how hard I'm doing my job and then,another person who rarely do much get so much appraisal. I dont want any of that because I know it's enough as long as Allah knows what you are doing and appreciate it. We do things in the sake of Allah but still,I feel alone.Never have I feel this alone. I'm also feeling that ukhuwah people show me are not real. Ah!! Why am I having all these bad thoughts T_T


I realized that people are judging me more and more. An some people may think I'm not good enough but I'm trying. It's tiring being good and know how underappreciated you are.Some of it are mayb my own mistake.Maybe I'm not taking care my ukhuwah with others nicely so that's why people didnt do the same for me. Life is hard,even more when you are alone. And this is making me feeling a little bit futur which is not god.Nauzubillah.Allah,gives me strength,to see the good in people and dosomething good for others :)