Run Away

I think now is really the time when Allah wants to test me,see  whether I'm patient or not.
And the truth is,I'm not that patient.
My heart is hurt when a close friend treat me badly without reasons and treat others nicely.
My heart is hurt when a close friend is staying away.
My heart is hurt when a close friend always being angry with me.

My heart is hurt because when all of these happens,I dont have people that truly love me around,near me,my family.
I feel like leaving them, like I cant stand it anymore.
I have a heart and I dont deserve to be treated like this.
I feel like running away and finding a new place to live,to be alone.

Sometimes I just want to be alone
I want to be by myself.
Because even when I'm with a crowd of people,no one really care.
So what is the purpose then??
Sometimes I hate myself for hating others, I'm turning into a bad person.
And I hate it.
I do HATE myself,for now.