Dont Have to Read This

When i saw someone beautiful, I still feel insecure and ugly.
guess that is the effect for having pimple since the age of 10 and people keep telling you your face looks like kawah bulan
I dont know why but I'm insecure with myself. I never feel I'm beautiful. I've always feel I'm ugly, ordinary and have nothing special.
I mean, I'm not even superkind type (alim2), not even the beautiful type, I'm not even the friendly and nicest person you'll ever met. I'm not clever. I'm just the simple-not-even-girl-next-door type.
Maybe it's because the way the people define beautiful.

Beautiful is when you:

have fair skin (cerah la)
skinny (kurus)
have flawless skin (yg takde jerawat tu)
have a nice voice which i didnt even have
have a sweet smile
.................
.................

and the list goes on and on.

Sometimes I hate myself for even feeling like this.
I hate the way I always feel insecure.
The way I look at life and the way I judge it.
It feels like I'm not qualified for anything.

I hate that I have a complicated life. Which is full of dramas. And I just want to have ordinary family.

I dont like the way I sound so ungrateful.
I love my family and friends. And I DO LOVE my life.
I just...erm,maybe sometimes I just too stressed out.
I'm TIRED. TIRED to always makes myself feel better.
Sometimes I just wanna run away and cry.



-minta maaf tulis agak emo.hanya untuk lepaskan perasaan sendiri-