words that really hurts my heart

salam...okay,i dont know why but i kept repeating my title using the word 'words'

haha,it seems like there are no other word existed,okay,another 'word' there.point taken

*that means your vocabulary is low,dush*

actually,this was supposed to be a kinda sad post but because of my ramblings up there,it turn out kinda funny??? 0_o 

lately,i really meant to write about this thing but didnt have the gut/time/heart to do so but i thing i need to write it up because sometimes it's driving me crazy

but i'm feeling guilty because it's like talking bad about your friend

okay,secret reveal,i'm going to talk about my friend

i do love this one particular friends,i REALLY REALLY DO LOVE HER *write in capital to make it sound more realistic*

it's just that....i dont like the way she talk to me.full stop

i dont like it because the way she talk sometimes really hurt my feeling.it didnt happened all the time,sometimes only but the sometimes things is hurting my feeling more and more from day to day

i'm not perfect so maybe i also hurt her feelings sometimes

but sometimes i realized that all people have also start realizing about it

and there is also a particular sentence that she said that really hurt my heart *and make me cry,more than once 0_o i know,i'm GEDIK*

and sometimes,she cut down when i said or dont want to accept my opinion or sometimes her sentences are belittling my ability or knowledge about something

and she makes me look like the bad person =_='

okay,i really am not a good person but sometimes the judging eyes of people hurt my feeling more

haish,people who knows me for long knew that i dont tell that person if she/he hurt my feeling

that is me.and i'm sensitive with word.u can hit me with your hand but if u hit me with your words,it will be harder to forget

hmmm....no matter what,i still love this particular friend,when she dont treat me like that

and i forgive all things she did that hurt my feeling.forgive and forget...

hah,after writing it down,i feel better.no hard feeling after all so after this,i wont think about this matter anymore.maybe just talk to my bestfriend to share about it but that's all,nothing else =D

nothing else to say,wassalam....

the ordinary me

salam....

the title....ermm,sometimes i dont know why,the title of my post are sort of the same.LAME ~_~

before this,there is post with title the unforgettable me etc etc

annoying la!why cant i came up with an interesting title like....ok,i dont know...if i know i wont came up with a LAME title,duh!

sorry,i think i keep babbling about myself non-stop and i dont know why.people will get boring

but still,this is my blog,the place for me to talk.why i choose that title????it's more because it's really who i am,without lying,i'm just ORDINARY.ordinary like the girl next door type

i'm not beautiful or clever.i dont have the angel-like solehah type of personality

my face is not fair clear skin type like snow white.i even have scars from pimples and acne

if u look at my face upclose,it was like the surface of moon,really,i'm not lying

pimples and acne really affect me alot,during high school and middle school because i've them for like FOREVER!it destroys my confidence.i always feel like i'm UGLY.i feel like people be friends with me because of pity.i never told anyone bout this but that's really how i feel.when i'm with my friends,i feel ashamed of myself,so many times even up until now.

i'm not skinny nor tall.i'm just 160cm in height and 5xkg in weight

my voice is not sweet,many people say bad things about my voice

like 'u're voice like a guy' or 'my ears feels hurt just by listening to your voice' and 'cant you keep your voice down?why are you always so noisy'

but the fact is,my voice is like that since i was born.not like i'm faking it.all the comments are hurtful and stayed with me until now.VOICE and ACNE are two things that i'm really sensitive about and can hurt me easily

people forget me easily because i'm really ordinary and boring.i'm not that cheerful and happy-go-lucky type of person.i take longer times to warm up to people and after peoples know me better,they are sometimes surprise with me because they expect me to be the nerdy,geeky,quiet type of person but really,big NO.i'm just SHY.that's all

other than that,people ALWAYS,i repeat,always JUDGE me before they even know me

like saying,i'm loud,lazy,dont cooperate and such when they dont even know me

i feel like smacking down all of them,huh!

so what if i'm NOT BEAUTIFUL,NOT CLEVER,NOT SKINNY,DONT HAVE SWEET VOICE,NOT A DAUGHTER TO SOMEONE RICH,DONT EVEN HAVE CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF???

it's people around me that make me like this

but thanks to ALLAH,there are still lots of people who accept me the way i am

my UMI,ABAH,SIBLINGS,KAKTI,HARIZ,HAFIY,HIDAYAH,IZZATI,HANI,RAHIL,SARAH,PAU,HALIMAH,

NABIHAH,ALIA,FATIN,MARDIANASYAKIRAH,ARIF,NASRULLAH,PIJAN and some other more.thanks so much! i really do LOVE you guys so much <3