random thoughts

random thoughts that passed my mind just now;

1. i love stalking other peoples blog.i mean,really really LOVE!reading and stalking without them knowing,that's heaven

2. i'm so sad with what happening in MESIR right now because many of my friends still there,still not going back to Jordan and some of my friends who study there still in danger

3.more sad because cannot contact my dear old friend.ALIFAH LIYANA who is studying at Mansoura,she's private student.i'm damn worried now =='

4. happy for a while because i'm able to contact my dear friend and roomate at INTEC,Halimah Khair.she is studying at Tanta,dentistry.but then feeling like worried to death after listening to their condition and state right now

5.i'm irritated at first when i learnt that there is new building for Economy subjects and faculty.and not to mention it was really-really far

6. want to drop subject but didnt know which one

alhamdulillah,selamat pulang....

salam semua!

sebelum ni,aku ada tulis yg aku nk ke Mesir kan

alhamdulillah,aku selamat pulang pada pagi 29hb,flight Egypt Air yg telah didelayedkan dari pukul 11.15mlm 28hb ke 2.30pg 29hb Januari

and aku dan rakan2 batch trakhir yg dapat keluar dari Cairo,pulang ke Jordan

sedih mngenangkan nsib akak2 senior dan rakan2 Jordan yg masih ade kt sne,dan jg kwn2 dan shbt handai yg belajar di Mesir

risau dalam hati hanya ALLAH yg tahu

tapi aku x ptus2 brdoa utk shbt2 dan rakan2 yg brada di Mesir

percutian ke Mesir mmg mmbawa seribu erti

baru smpai Jordan pun aku dah trindu2 bumi Mesir

trnyata byk permata berharga di sne cuma yg ada di sane x dpt nmpk ape yg mreka ada

bg aku,Mesir x kalah kalau nk dibandingkan dgn negara2 Eropah

ok,mmg Mesir x semaju ngara Eropah

tp dr segi keindahan prmndangan,khazanah ilmu,asir yg best*jus*,buah-buahan yg segar n murah *x mcm Jordan*,bekalan air yg x putus * x mcm Jordan yg xde air*,makam2 ahlul bait dan para wali ALLAH,byk sgt permata di Jordan.

YA ALLAH,KAU LINDUNGI DAN PELIHARALAH BUMI MESIR,BERIKANLAH KEAMANAN KEMBALI KEPADA BUMI MESIR DAN KAU LINDUNGILAH KESELAMATAN SEMUA RAKYAT MALAYSIA DAN UMAT ISLAM DI MESIR,AMIN.....

ALLAH LEBIH MENGETAHUI APA YANG BAKAL TERJADI DI MASA HADAPAN.KITA HANYA MAMPU BERDOA...

the ordinary me

salam....

the title....ermm,sometimes i dont know why,the title of my post are sort of the same.LAME ~_~

before this,there is post with title the unforgettable me etc etc

annoying la!why cant i came up with an interesting title like....ok,i dont know...if i know i wont came up with a LAME title,duh!

sorry,i think i keep babbling about myself non-stop and i dont know why.people will get boring

but still,this is my blog,the place for me to talk.why i choose that title????it's more because it's really who i am,without lying,i'm just ORDINARY.ordinary like the girl next door type

i'm not beautiful or clever.i dont have the angel-like solehah type of personality

my face is not fair clear skin type like snow white.i even have scars from pimples and acne

if u look at my face upclose,it was like the surface of moon,really,i'm not lying

pimples and acne really affect me alot,during high school and middle school because i've them for like FOREVER!it destroys my confidence.i always feel like i'm UGLY.i feel like people be friends with me because of pity.i never told anyone bout this but that's really how i feel.when i'm with my friends,i feel ashamed of myself,so many times even up until now.

i'm not skinny nor tall.i'm just 160cm in height and 5xkg in weight

my voice is not sweet,many people say bad things about my voice

like 'u're voice like a guy' or 'my ears feels hurt just by listening to your voice' and 'cant you keep your voice down?why are you always so noisy'

but the fact is,my voice is like that since i was born.not like i'm faking it.all the comments are hurtful and stayed with me until now.VOICE and ACNE are two things that i'm really sensitive about and can hurt me easily

people forget me easily because i'm really ordinary and boring.i'm not that cheerful and happy-go-lucky type of person.i take longer times to warm up to people and after peoples know me better,they are sometimes surprise with me because they expect me to be the nerdy,geeky,quiet type of person but really,big NO.i'm just SHY.that's all

other than that,people ALWAYS,i repeat,always JUDGE me before they even know me

like saying,i'm loud,lazy,dont cooperate and such when they dont even know me

i feel like smacking down all of them,huh!

so what if i'm NOT BEAUTIFUL,NOT CLEVER,NOT SKINNY,DONT HAVE SWEET VOICE,NOT A DAUGHTER TO SOMEONE RICH,DONT EVEN HAVE CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF???

it's people around me that make me like this

but thanks to ALLAH,there are still lots of people who accept me the way i am

my UMI,ABAH,SIBLINGS,KAKTI,HARIZ,HAFIY,HIDAYAH,IZZATI,HANI,RAHIL,SARAH,PAU,HALIMAH,

NABIHAH,ALIA,FATIN,MARDIANASYAKIRAH,ARIF,NASRULLAH,PIJAN and some other more.thanks so much! i really do LOVE you guys so much <3

selamat tinggal utk kau,aku sudah x sabar nk brsama 'dia' yang bru :D

sudah lama aku bersamamu tp masa trasa bgaikan skejap berlalu

pejam celik,sudah setahun kita bersama

banyak kenangan yg kita bina bersama,pahit,manis,tawar,masam smuanya ada

stiap kali ku kenang,adakalanya ku ktawa sndiri,mnangis sndiri mcm org gila

aku paham,yang masa mncmburui kita,x ingin biar kita bersama lebih lama

detik yang berlalu,menandakan semakin singkat masa kita bersama

walaupun aku tahu kau mungkin cemburu,ttpi aku dlm diam,tidak sabar menantikan ketibaan 'dia'

kekasih hatiku yg baru

yg akan menemaniku slps ini

kepada kau,trima kasih krn stia brsamaku

wlaupun kau akan ku tinggalkan,kenangan bersamamu ttp kekal di ingatan

krn bersamamu,aku merasa pengalamn di tmpt baru,di negara orang

brsamamu aku mengenali orang baru

sungguh aku syg pdmu ttpi hatiku sudah terpaut pada 'dia'

aku x sbr mahu hidup bersama 'dia'

brsama harapan baru yg 'dia' bawa bersama

maafkan aku...

doakan aku...

selamat tinggal kepada kau:

2010

dan selamat datang kepada kau:

2011!!!!

boleh kita berkenalan????? :D

ps:haha,jgn trpedaya dgn ayt2 sblomnyer

hanya luahan hati tntg 2010 yg akan brlalu...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

aku adalah aku

salam...xtaw per mkne tjuk post di atas sbnrnye,tiada tujuan

2,3 hari lepas,sgt2 la sdih thp gaban mcm kmatian suami

sbbnyer,dr mansur da bg markah Ulum Quran

dan mrkh sgt x best =='

x tipu dan tiade unsur hiperbola di sini

ni sume trjd bkn sbb x study tp sbb tbe2 tr'blank' time exam

siyes,mmg x tipu

blank dlm erti kate sbnrnyer iaitu x dpt ingt paper pn

wpun kwn2 cbe tngkan,aku mcm nk ckp je,

'korg xde kt tmpt aku,klu korg jd cmtu,korg pn msti sdih kan??kan??'

aku rse brslh kt parents

rse mcm ank yg x bgus

parents ari2 doakan,aku lak bg mrkah x best dlm exam

after a while,da brtng

final da dkt,kne buat da best!

rndu kt family~~

ps:tbe2 rse xnk ambk soifi

nk blek msia lmer2 sket :D 

nk mntk dr mnsur markah lbih

doa2 dpt~

wassalam....

kuatkan semangat aku yg semakin rapuh ni...

semakin hari,semakin lemah semangat yg ada

hari2 diteruskan dengan berbekalkan semangat yg tipis

niat krn ALLAH dan ibu bapa yg mmberikan harapan

selain tu,xde...

KOSONG

sehinggakan sering tertanya2

'betul ke keputusan aku ni?'

i didnt do it for myself but for others and in the time of hardship like this,i dont know where to turn or lean on

ALLAH,helps me,gives me spirit to move on...

insyaALLAH

the forgettable me...always NOW and FOREVER

salam...

the title did sound weird a lil bit right?

but i know deeply the meaning of it

about me,i'm not the type of person who are easy to approach

so if i ever approach you first,then you are LUCKY :)

it doesnt meant that i dont know how to make friends

NO!nothing like that

it's just that,it's hard for people to know the real me

they always know the STRICT,SERIOUS me that they saw from outside

i always hear things like;

'owh,i didnt know that you are like that at all'

'you look different from the first time i saw and talk to you'

'why you look really cold from outside?"

yeah,hear it many times

it just that,i took longer time to become close with anyone new

but i do LOVE meeting NEW FRIENDS!

it's a fantastic thing!

i admit that i'm not the famous type of person

and i'm often forgotten by my friends

such like i dont exist

and they never bother to ask what my opinion

and always listen to what other people told about me

it hurts my feelings a lot

this kind of things has happen SO MANY TIMES before

ex: all my friends are discussing about going somewhere

and i said 'hey,i want to go too,let's go together!'

the others said: 'okay,that's cool!'

then other friends ask : 'hey,are u going there?i'm goin but on X day.the others are going on X days.u want to join me or them?'

i answer: 'i'll go with them'

tomorrow,the other friends ask again: 'are you going to that place?i'm  not going'

i said: 'i'm not going,sorry.i'll go on X days with others'

then suddenly,on X days,someone from the others call and asked me about a place in X place and i answer ' i dont know.hey,you guys are going to X place tomorrow or not?'

the others answer: 'we are already there la,eh,that person told me you dont want to go.'

BAM!the shocked of hearing that

i said: ' i never said that.i DO WANT TO GO!but with u guys,not here.i've told before,right??nevermind...'

the thing is,it never is nevermind with me

i DO CARE!they always treat me like that.saying that they forgot to ask me,or saying that they hear from someone else that i'm not going.why they never bother to CALL and CONFIRM it with me?

why hear from someone else?now that they already know how to go,just tossed me aside.like i'm an outsider,didnt exist at all

why i'm always being the one forgotten?

this thing happen so many time before.and it hurt my heart so much

MY FRIENDS,IF YOU REALLY DO CALL ME YOUR FRIEND,

PLEASE TREAT ME BETTER,DONT FORGET BOUT ME

AND JUST COME TO ME IF YOU WANT ANY FAVOR OR HELP

AND LET ME ALONE WHEN YOU GUYS ARE HAVING FUN

I'M HAVING MANY PROBLEMS BUT NONE OF U COME TO ME AND ASK ME IF ANYTHING IS WRONG WITH ME OR NOT

ARE YOU REALLY CONSIDERING YOURSELF AS MY FRIEND????

dont wanna say more,the rest is history

i'm FORGETTING and FORGIVING,

like what i ALWAYS DO..

it's really easy to pretend

salam..

it's already 12am,it means that now is a new day already

have class tomorrow,Markaz Lughoh and i still didnt finish the homework

dont have mood to do so

*sory Dr Ruba*

my status on fb are making some of my friends eager,wants to know what problem i really have

but the problem is,i cant tell them

even talk about it make me felt like crying

so i do what i do best

i PRETEND to be HAPPY :)

pretending is easy because up until now,no one know what's going on inside my heart

sometimes i feel like my heart hurt so much it might explodes!

so many things happened around me and i didnt know which one is worse or better than the other

i dont know what make me stay strong

maybe DOA from my parents

and my thoughts that always think,ALLAH knows the best for us

so for now,when i'm still okay,still can pretend and somehow hope the pretend will become a reality,

i want to:

say thanks to ALLAH for giving me ALL the things i have today;a wonderful parents,wonderful friends,a good and happy life and for giving me another day to live,to breathe

say thanks to ALLAH,because i still have all the things that i love,all the things that i care

say thanks to ALLAH for EVERYTHING he gave me

even the good things and some hardness

because that is the things that make who am i right now

THANKS ALLAH

* i'm not pretending this time,it really came from my heart*

trying to spend some free time,find a way to heal a heart

salam..

third update for today!

haha,what an accomplishment *yay to me!*

maybe it happens because i'm too excited with my new layout

*i cant stop viewing my blog like SERIOUSLY! it was just a blog! XD *

this is the early day of December..

still,there is no look of Syita coming through,just feeling a lil bit cold,cold like in Cameron Highland and not like at oversea,like in JORDAN,if you know what i mean *which i guess u didnt*

but pakcik told me that his place,back in United Kingdom has started snowing and he tell me that it's not good actually because you will feel freaking cold and stuff and i told him;

'oh,is that right?then i'm grateful it's not snowing here :) '

*pakcik is my old friend,practically several years older than me,we fight a lot and that's why i call him pakcik,to show him that he is after all,OLD.haha.*

just have finished checking out Yarmouk's students portal and checking out my exam's mark

especially for Mabadi Masorif Islami because my dear friend told me that our beloved Dr,give bonus mark to everyone so I try to check it out.my mark is good enough before this so practically Dr wont give me any bonus mark but then i saw it and BAM!

Dr do GIVE me EXTRA MARKS!!

and it means i got FULL MARKS!

alhamdulillah...

i'll try better after this,for imtihan thani,insyaALLAH...

from what i write,i look like i'm happy right?not much actually...

i'm practically DEPRESSED like crazy with my Ulum Quran's exam's marks

i'm sad because 'that person' are ignoring me without reasons,and have changed alot and i'm like, 

I DONT CARE ANYMORE ABOUT U,OK?EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THAT'S A LIE BECAUSE I JUST CARE!

and then,the real thing that have been affecting me alot this week,a news that shock me so much that it broke my heart.things that i really hope wont never happen.i didnt share about it with anyone at all because i'm afraid i'll cry like crazy so i'm just saying my prayer,hoping that everything will be okay,insyaALLAH...

ps:writing in english to improved my skills,which are not being used here AT ALL!

i just dont KNOW what to do,haha..

my feelings for now;

New Layouts!Suke2 =D

salam..

aku skrg ngh trsengih mcm kerang busuk sbbnyer~~~
blog aku da brtukar wajah ngn sgt comelnyer!

i like :)

aku da lmer tnggu saat2 ni,utk blog aku brtukar wajah,haha XD

*bunyi mcm tipu tp mmg btol*

sory r,bab2 blogging ni aku mmg lmbab sikit

so klu tgk blog aku xde gadjet and hudoh smcm,jgn komen paper r

lg pn,blog ni just utk aku kngsi story sume n x prlu ader byk2 bnde,srbut n aku x reti nk gne pn =_='

awal bln so intrnet laju balik!

HAPPY!!!!

tp x baper hepy sbb dah dpt mrkah Ulum Quran and markah sgt hampeh ='(

TAK SUKE!!!

xnk share sbb x bg taw kt my mum lg

tp mrkah Mabadi Masorif okay,alhamdulillah....

ps:msih sdih with everything that happen,huhu...

Jangan Kata Kau Dah Beriman Sedangkan Kau Tak Diuji

salam..

wah,asal tibe2 je tjuk ade unsur keagamaan tbe2 kan?

aku bkn nk ulas psl ayat ni

tp lbih kpd nk mmberi ketenangan yg mkin hilang rasenyer kt diri aku sndiri

sjk akhir2 ni,trlalu byk brita yg aku dgr,dr fmily,dr kwn2 and persekitaran and some of them SANGAT melemahkan smgt aku and membuat aku teramat lah DOWN!

kpd down dan bkn up?sbb xde tngga ke?x,bkn2

tidak benar sama sekali

kalau org tgk luaran,mmg rase aku ni ok je

hepy,rilek,tng,tabah

*agaknyer la*

tp sbnrnyer dlmn,dlm hati aku,brkocak mcm nk ader rbut taufan

lg2 sjk akhir2 ni

something yg aku doa xkan trjd sjak hari aku fly ke Jordan ni da terjd

*dun worry,xde paper bruk jd kat aku*

klau org tnye,aku ni jnis cmner,aku akan ckp;

I'M A FAMILY TYPE OF PERSON

that means,family is number one in my heart

if u want to hurt me then u just need to hurt my feelings

and aku tbe2 trime satu brte bruk

and seriously,aku xtaw cmner nk deal ngn bnde ni

sometimes aku rase mcm nk nanges tbe2

nk jerit pn ader

aku mcm nk ckp,

bnde cmni jd dlm drma je

bnde cmni x jd kt family aku

then aku trsedar

layak ke aku ckp cmni?

aku kan hamba DIA je

dan aku taw,DIA xkan uji hamba-Nya dgn something yg dorg x mmpu tnggung

so aku taw,insyaALLAH ader hikmah di sbalik sume ni

ujian mnjdkan kite lg kuat

dan bile sdih ni,sorg demi sorg kwn mninggalkan aku

ntah ape mslh dorg

aku pn xtaw

pdhl aku da r tgh cdey

dan dia...

dia yg dulu sudi dgr luahan hati aku,bg nsihat,dgr ape yg aku ckp,ambil brt,dah x buat cmtu lg

dia dah brubah,aku perasan

da x same ngn keadaan b4 fly ke Jordan

dlu ikhlas,tp skrg nmpk sgt trpaksa

dlu cria and mesra tp skrg sume mcm buat2 je

mkin pndai brpura2,lg2 pura2 x knl aku

aku taw aku byk silp tp a friend should say something

especially at a time like this

i need someone who really2 LISTEN....

a LOST is a terrible thing to deal with and i really hope that i dont have to deal with it

YA ALLAH,berikanlah kekuatan kepada aku dan keluargaku dalam menghadapi dugaan dr Mu,insyaALLAH...

do wish the best for me..

insyaALLAH..

salam..

p/s:perkara yg trjd x boleh dihebahkan kpd umum sbb aku xnk smpati@kasihan sape2

just doakan yg trbaik,amin...