When I'm quiet, that means I'm TOTALLY pissed off or I'm totally sad like crazy or I'm pissed off with myself.

I'm rarely quiet, I'm always loud and noisy so sometimes when I'm quiet, I surprised even myself, at the condition of how quiet I can be. When I'm thinking about something deeply, I tend to be quiet. When I'm angry, I'll stay quiet and I dont even want to see the face of the person who makes me angry. When I'm hurt with someone's words or actions, I'll stay quiet because I'm afraid I'll never be able to forgive them. When I make someone angry, I'll stay quiet or I'll start thinking of all bad things that person have done and how I easily forgive and forget them and how that person never done the same for me. 

I'm easy to read, like an open book

Tolong Diam dan Senyap

Kadang-kadang, mulut orang memang tak reti untuk berhenti bercakap. Terutamanya pada benda yang tiada kaitan dengan dorang. Yang tak sukanya, bila di hadapan orang yang dikata tu, diam seribu bahasa, bila orang dah tiada, sibuk pulak mengata tindakannya. Hmmm...

Biasa dah jadi.. Jadi anggap tiada apa-apalah. Tu kot beza aku dengan orang. Aku tak puas hati, aku cakap terus. Walaupun mungkin orang tu yang terasa. Tapi berbanding orang yang kata belakang-belakang ni, memang tak patut la.

Kalau rasa orang tu buat salah (aku lah tu) cakap je depan-depan. Tegur dengan cara baiklah. Bukannya dengan cara yang kasar. Contoh cara kasar:

"Hanum,aku tak puas hati lah dengan kau. Dulu kau cakap A, lepas tu B. Kau ni memang lah. Bilalah nak berubah. Perangai dari dulu sampai sekarang sama je"

Kalau cakap macam tu, memang sampai bila-bila aku takkan cakap dengan orang tu dah. Sebenarnya semua orang (even aku) ok je untuk ditegur. Tapi dengan cara yang baik la, berakhlak, beradab. Nabi Muhammad pun pernah menegur tapi dengan cara yang betul la. Aku pernah ditegur oleh seorang classmates time sekolah menengah pasal kata-kata aku yang tajam dan dia terasa. Alhamdulillah, nasib baik la kawan ni tegur kalau tak sampai bila-bila aku tak perasan.

Dan yang pentingnya, jangan lah mengata sesuatu yang kita tak puas hati dengan orang tu belakang-belakang, cerita dekat orang lain lepas tu tuan punya badan terdengar dari orang lain. Lagi sakit hati tahu??!

Ehem, sebagai insan yang lemah lagi banyak kelemahan ni, aku nak mintak maaf dekat semua orang yang mengenali aku kalau-kalau aku pernah buat salah, tanpa sedar ataupun time sedar. Kalau ada salah aku pada korang, bagi tahu lah. Memang kalau aku tak sedar, aku mintak maaf. Aku bukanlah jenis yang ego untuk meminta maaf dan memaafkan,insyaAllah..

"Orang yang mengumpat walaupun dah bertaubat, akan menjadi orang terakhir yang masuk syurga. Dan orang yang tak bertaubat akan menjadi orang terawal masuk neraka"

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اجْتَنِبُوا كَثِيرًا مِنَ الظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعْضَ الظَّنِّ إِثْمٌ ۖ وَلَا تَجَسَّسُوا وَلَا يَغْتَبْ بَعْضُكُمْ بَعْضًا ۚ أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَنْ يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ 

مَيْتًا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَوَّابٌ رَحِيمٌ

 

"O believers! Avoid immoderate suspicion, for in some cases suspicion is a sin. Do not spy on one another, nor backbite one another (to say something about another behind ones back that if one hears it, dislikes it). Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Surely you would abhor it. Fear Allah; for Allah is the Accepter of repentance, Merciful." 49:12

Sahabat dan Exam

Sahabat,rasanya tak perlu elaborate panjang2 kot. Senang cakap,siapa yang ada kawan yang dia anggap sebagai sahabat,maka secara tak rasminya,memang orang tu lah sahabat dia. As for me, I'm flexible. Tengok keadaan. Ada time aku rapat dengan A, sometimes dengan B, sometimes dengan C. Aku okay je dengan semua orang.

Kenapa tiba2 sebut pasal exam? Apa kaitan sahabat,dengan exam kan? Aku sekarang dah masuk tahun 2. Tapi aku tengok masih ada 1 benda tak berubah. Tabiat orang sekeliling aku, yang suka tengok/sebar/cerita/ambik tahu markah exam aku. Macam seriously, tolonglah, markah aku biasa2 je. Aku rasa aku normal macam orang lain. Pernah je dapat markah 60+ untuk satu madah. Pernah je time exam,dapat 9/20. Pernah je menangis time call mak sebab dalam ramai2 budak Melayu yang ambik madah yang sama,aku sorang je dapat bwh 10,orang lain dapat 15/20 atau 16/20.

Mungkinkah sebab aku budak tajaan,maka tendency orang untuk ambik tahu ternyata berkali gandanya?Kalau just ambik tahu dan senyap2 sendiri takpe jugak, tak ambik kesah pun, aku pun tak tahu. Tapi mak pantang kalau orang buat cerita,orang bergosip, orang bercerita pumpang pumpang sana sini benda tak benar. Dan tiba2,ada kawan yang...erk...terasa =_="

Dalam bersahabat,memang aku banyak je pernah buat salah dekat each one of my friends. Pernah je aku terguriskan hati dorang,termarah dorang,terbuat dorang rasa annoying sangat2 dengan aku,buat dorang kecik hati,buat dorang marah dan macam2 lagi la.Dan aku memang rasa bersalah pun.Dan lately mskin kuat rasa bersalah lagi2 bila dah jadi macam ni.

Senang cerita,disebabkan orang yang terlalu mengambil tahu pasal markah exam/muaddal aku telah menyebabkan timbul salah faham sikit.Huh,annoying2.Dah lama sabar.Aku memang rasa bersalah dekat kawan aku dan aku mintak maaf banyak2.Aku banyak buat silap. Tak dinafikan.

Dan tolonglah,stop spreading wrong news. Stop spreading rumors. Dosa tahu cerita pasal orang lain, sampai buat orang salah faham semua :( Aku nak jaga hati semua orang. Jadi someone else, tolong jaga hati aku jugak yer ^^

Perihal Kawan

Kawan,friends...
Yes, everyone do have lots of them, even me myself.
But among that many so-called friend, which one can be your true friend? The one you can rely on when you have problems. I can say that I have several of that,not much. Maybe around 3 or 4 persons.

Yang aku nak sebut kat sini bukan pasal true friends,their characteristic or how much do you have them.Aku nak sebut pasal attitude as a friend.

Aku,as a friend,memang ada banyak kelemahan. Aku sendiri mengaku. I dont keep in touch that much with my friends if we are far apart, even the closest one. Tapi x bermakna aku x ingat dorang. Aku ingat cuma memang tabiat semulajadi aku malas men'contact' orang. Sorry friends >_<

Aku sedar yang aku kadang2 suka berkira dengan kawan2 aku.And aku tau ramai je yang x suka dengan perangai aku tu. Aku memang jenis yang cepat panas dan cepat melenting.Aku pun jenis yang cepat terasa cuma aku pandai cover.

Semua kelemahan aku tu,memang aku harap aku dapat ubah.Tapi sometimes,the are several attitudes that you shouldnt do to your friends.

I have friend,a close one,that when she is with others,particularly not so close friends,she is being extra nice to them,all smiles and laugh and all the good quality a friend should have. And yet, when she is with me,ermm....not so much.Yes,they said that when u are close with someone,you act your trueself.But that doesnt meant you can treat your friend like that.Bila dengan kawan2 biasa,boleh pulak x berkira,x cepat terasa or get angry with that person. But bila dengan kawan yang rapat,salah cakap sikit dah terasa,benda kecik nak berkira and sometimes,cakap dengan nada yang x ssuai.Menegur dgn cara perli.Ada ke rules yg ckp,when u are closed with that person,u can talk and give advice in any way that u like?And another thing yg aku pantang and cukup x suka orang buat,tangguh kerja.Cakap nak buat and then x buat.And then blame others for it.Or blame that others is too dependant on them =_="

And as a friend,when u have problem,x perlu la nak lepaskan perasaan dan ketensenan tu dekat orang lain.It's okay to be moody.Semua orang ada bad day.But,that's the point.EVERYONE HAVE A BAD DAY.EVERYONE HAVE PROBLEMS.Cuma dorang x tunjuk.X expresskan depan orang lain.You think,with taking out on others or weeping around like u are the only one who have problems,will make others care for you more??
NO2.BIG NO here.


Everyone have problems.Someone else may have a family members dying of cancer.Someone may have siblings that hate them and trying to find faults in every single thing they do.Someone may dont have enough money to meet the ends.Someone may feel insecure because they think,everything they do are not good enough even though what they want is a simple recognition from others.

Jadi,as a friend,maybe every single one of u including me should watch our attitudes.We dont realize that what we say may hurt others.We often care bout ourself more than others..

ps:post yg xde motip.lebih kepada nak luahkan perasaan =_=" bukan berniat menuduh ssiapa.just nak ambil iktibar..

Muhasabah Diri

Minggu yang perit sedikit,fuh...
Perit bukan sebab ada exam tapi perit sebab ada sedikit perselisihan dgn seorang sahabat..
Rasa sangat sedih dan sakit bila kita menyakitkan hati seseorang yg rapat dgn kita,seseorang yg kita sangat sayang.Alhamdulillah,masalah berjaya diselesaikan dengan baik..
Terima kasih sahabat atas semua nasihat dan teguran :')

Betul kata org,kita sebagai manusia ni,kalau tak dtegur memang kita takkan perasan dengan kelebihan dan kekurangan kita.Tapi selalunya lebih kepada kekurangan la.Rasa sedih sebab aku asyik ulang silap yang sama,menyakitkan hati kawan dengan kata2 lancang yg aku x sedar.

Sumpah aku tak berniat jahat pun time berkata-kata tapi entah mcm mana kadang2 boleh terkeluar kata2 yg agak kasar dari mulut aku.Mungkin aku x sedar dan mngkin aku ingat kata2 itu biasa saje tapi tanpa sedar,ada yg terasa :(

Sedih sebenarnya kalau kita buat org terasa dgn kita x kisah la dengan kata2 or perbuatan or anything whatsoever..Sebab kalau ada orang buat mcm tu dekat diri kita sendiri,kita pun tak suka kan.Memang perangai aku jenis yang berani luahkan pendapat tak kira masa dan tempat tapi adakalanya kata2 aku kena berpada2 juga.

 

A bit of an advice from me,think carefully before you speak.Because words hit and hurt more than a sword.Trust me :)

Serius Aku Tak Tahu

Assalamualaikum...
Sorry,sudahlah dah lama x update,bila update pulak tajuk macam... Erkk...
Serius cakap,aku memang x tahu macam mana nak puaskan hati semua orang.
Dan aku paling tak suka bila aku penat-penat menjaga hati orang,tapi mereka2 ni dengan sewenang-wenangnya menyakitkan hati aku.Ingat aku xde hati ke?

Dulu aku pernah je kna tegur time Form 3,pasal mulut aku yg sangat pedas.Memang lepas2 tu aku sangat jaga apa yang aku cakap.Kalau ada yang terpedas jugak tu,serius memang aku x perasan,memang aku bukan sengaja cakap2 berbaur pedas tu.

Tapi apa yang aku pelik adalah bila orang terasa dengan aku,dengan benda yang sememangnya biasa2 je.Benda yang aku bagi tahu kerana maklumat benda tu BENAR!Ak cakap macam tu demi kemaslahatan semua orang,demi kebaikan di masa hadapan sebba benda tu pernah terjadi pada aku jadi aku tau la baik buruknya.Aku tahu perangai kwn2 aku sorang2 tu mcm mana.

Penat la semua orang tuding jari pada aku.Serius,lepas ni aku dah xnak bagi pandangan atau pendapat apa2 dah kalau macam ni je la yang aku dapat.Sedih tau bila niat kita baik dan orang asyik salah faham pada kita :'(

Sudahlah macam ni.Sesiapa yang terasa,aku minta maaf.Lain kali,jangan biar mulut aku bagi pendapat,tangan aku menaip pendapat aku.Bincang apa sahaja korang mahu,x perlu tanya pendapat aku lagi ok :)

hati dan jiwa aku sakit

tapi xde ubat

time is the best medicine?

a crap quote to make u feel better

it clearly dont

u'll feel angrier and then u decided to forget

because it's not worth remembering

i really dont want to say this but i have to

i dont know why but i think u've changed

changed completely

i dont know who u are right now

but from the way things were right now,i think it's the right time to stop

life have to go on

i have to go on and move on

it's hard to say goodbye to a good friend

but i need to take care of my heart first

-deep in my heart,only i knew the truth-

people are hard to understand,especially your own friends

assalamualaikum....
it's been such a long time since the last time i've updated the blog
very busy with classes,exam,activities and such

before this,i've wrote about how dissapointed i am with one of my friends * now i prefer to consider her just as an acquaintance,not a friend anymore because friend dont ditch you,and lying about it*
sometimes it was really hard to understand your friend.


for example,this one friend of mine.she seems really nice to other and many people like her too
but when there just us,she sort of i dont know,maybe change?sometimes,what she do really hurt my feeling but i just bear with it.when i ask her about something,she answer with harsh tone,like angry tone.and when i do some mistakes,the way she pointed it,really hurt my feeling like 'how come you didnt even know how to do that?' or 'didnt anyone teach you how to do it?your mother didnt teach you?' and sometimes,just because i didnt bother to do something,just because i'm busy with exams or anything,she will said 'you are lazy' or 'i always have to do this,you never bother to do it' when the truth is,i did do it!but of course,there's no need for me to show it in front of her that i've done it.sometimes i didnt understand why she said that kind of hurtful words.she said some insulting things other than that too,but i didnt bother to write it down.and how she keep whining when she have to do or join something -_-

and when i didnt ask her to do it,and then she has to do it,she will be whining,said something bad about me under her breath,muttering about how lazy i am,da da da da.... do it with lots of noise just to annoy the hell out of me and make me realize it,and then when it all finish,just finish it all alone.i dont care that much because i dont ask her to do it and even when she's doing it for herself,just do it quietly and dont bother me ~_~

but yeah,others wont believe it because she didnt show that side to many people.but still,as a friend,i'm grateful that i've knew her,she's a good friend,have taught me lots of things,always pointed out my mistakes,and turn me to a better person.she's the type of friend that i would call 'love to hate'.i like and love her so much,especially when she didnt show other side of her,the dark side i would call it.all in all,people are different and have their own flaws.even me myself have my own flaws that my friends have to deal with.but truthfully,when u want to say something to a person,pointed out their mistake,better said it nicely.and if you dont want to do something,then just dont do it if you just do it to show how angry you are with your friend

being me,when i'm angry with my siblings,i will pointed it out,say it out loud but with friend,i will keep quiet and just forgive them.even if i point it out,i will point it out in my own discreet way so that it wont hurt their feelings because me myself  dont like it when people pointed my mistake with harsh ways.

okay,now i feel better,i'm already forgiving her * like i said before,i love her so much so i wont stay mad at her for long,hehe* and i hope if she read this,just knew that i love her no matter what.i've already considered her as my friend and family but still,sometimes i need to write down about my disappointment and such

sorry for a little harsh words being used there.
huhu.i'm just a mere and normal human beings.i make mistakes
wassalam

sometimes we have to let go

salam..

recently i realized,that sometimes we have to face a really hard choice

and sometimes we have to let go,even though we love that thing so much

the more we love it,the more it destroys us.it usually happened like that

and we were always given a choice,a very hard one to choose

lately,i've been faced with a choice and it really broke my heart to make a choice

but it have to be make for my own good so i decided to do it but i cant lie that i'm not feeling sad

because the choice that i make,even think about it make my heart hurt ='(

maybe this is the best thing to do =)

think positive!

LET GO....

TIME WILL HEAL EVERYTHING,INSYAALLAH

I'M STRONG AND I KNOW I CAN DO IT

DONT STAY SAD..

INSYAALLAH,BIIZNILLAH

THIS IS THE BEST CHOICE

words that really hurts my heart

salam...okay,i dont know why but i kept repeating my title using the word 'words'

haha,it seems like there are no other word existed,okay,another 'word' there.point taken

*that means your vocabulary is low,dush*

actually,this was supposed to be a kinda sad post but because of my ramblings up there,it turn out kinda funny??? 0_o 

lately,i really meant to write about this thing but didnt have the gut/time/heart to do so but i thing i need to write it up because sometimes it's driving me crazy

but i'm feeling guilty because it's like talking bad about your friend

okay,secret reveal,i'm going to talk about my friend

i do love this one particular friends,i REALLY REALLY DO LOVE HER *write in capital to make it sound more realistic*

it's just that....i dont like the way she talk to me.full stop

i dont like it because the way she talk sometimes really hurt my feeling.it didnt happened all the time,sometimes only but the sometimes things is hurting my feeling more and more from day to day

i'm not perfect so maybe i also hurt her feelings sometimes

but sometimes i realized that all people have also start realizing about it

and there is also a particular sentence that she said that really hurt my heart *and make me cry,more than once 0_o i know,i'm GEDIK*

and sometimes,she cut down when i said or dont want to accept my opinion or sometimes her sentences are belittling my ability or knowledge about something

and she makes me look like the bad person =_='

okay,i really am not a good person but sometimes the judging eyes of people hurt my feeling more

haish,people who knows me for long knew that i dont tell that person if she/he hurt my feeling

that is me.and i'm sensitive with word.u can hit me with your hand but if u hit me with your words,it will be harder to forget

hmmm....no matter what,i still love this particular friend,when she dont treat me like that

and i forgive all things she did that hurt my feeling.forgive and forget...

hah,after writing it down,i feel better.no hard feeling after all so after this,i wont think about this matter anymore.maybe just talk to my bestfriend to share about it but that's all,nothing else =D

nothing else to say,wassalam....

random thoughts

random thoughts that passed my mind just now;

1. i love stalking other peoples blog.i mean,really really LOVE!reading and stalking without them knowing,that's heaven

2. i'm so sad with what happening in MESIR right now because many of my friends still there,still not going back to Jordan and some of my friends who study there still in danger

3.more sad because cannot contact my dear old friend.ALIFAH LIYANA who is studying at Mansoura,she's private student.i'm damn worried now =='

4. happy for a while because i'm able to contact my dear friend and roomate at INTEC,Halimah Khair.she is studying at Tanta,dentistry.but then feeling like worried to death after listening to their condition and state right now

5.i'm irritated at first when i learnt that there is new building for Economy subjects and faculty.and not to mention it was really-really far

6. want to drop subject but didnt know which one

penat r camni

salam...

taw x aku penat ngn ape?penat nk jg hati org

but in the end,xde yg jg hati aku pun

i do appreciate my friends tp sometimes,they are just asking to much from me

and sometimes,aku rase brsalah sbb always buat kwn aku trasa

and aku x taw dorg trasa

and then aku rasa bersalah

and aku x suke

and then jd cmni

and aku rasa nk balik je malaysia

and just say bye2 je la kt korg

ps:this thing is making me homesick,AGAIN!!!

sory,this time byk prkataan 'and' dan 'rasa'

the ordinary me

salam....

the title....ermm,sometimes i dont know why,the title of my post are sort of the same.LAME ~_~

before this,there is post with title the unforgettable me etc etc

annoying la!why cant i came up with an interesting title like....ok,i dont know...if i know i wont came up with a LAME title,duh!

sorry,i think i keep babbling about myself non-stop and i dont know why.people will get boring

but still,this is my blog,the place for me to talk.why i choose that title????it's more because it's really who i am,without lying,i'm just ORDINARY.ordinary like the girl next door type

i'm not beautiful or clever.i dont have the angel-like solehah type of personality

my face is not fair clear skin type like snow white.i even have scars from pimples and acne

if u look at my face upclose,it was like the surface of moon,really,i'm not lying

pimples and acne really affect me alot,during high school and middle school because i've them for like FOREVER!it destroys my confidence.i always feel like i'm UGLY.i feel like people be friends with me because of pity.i never told anyone bout this but that's really how i feel.when i'm with my friends,i feel ashamed of myself,so many times even up until now.

i'm not skinny nor tall.i'm just 160cm in height and 5xkg in weight

my voice is not sweet,many people say bad things about my voice

like 'u're voice like a guy' or 'my ears feels hurt just by listening to your voice' and 'cant you keep your voice down?why are you always so noisy'

but the fact is,my voice is like that since i was born.not like i'm faking it.all the comments are hurtful and stayed with me until now.VOICE and ACNE are two things that i'm really sensitive about and can hurt me easily

people forget me easily because i'm really ordinary and boring.i'm not that cheerful and happy-go-lucky type of person.i take longer times to warm up to people and after peoples know me better,they are sometimes surprise with me because they expect me to be the nerdy,geeky,quiet type of person but really,big NO.i'm just SHY.that's all

other than that,people ALWAYS,i repeat,always JUDGE me before they even know me

like saying,i'm loud,lazy,dont cooperate and such when they dont even know me

i feel like smacking down all of them,huh!

so what if i'm NOT BEAUTIFUL,NOT CLEVER,NOT SKINNY,DONT HAVE SWEET VOICE,NOT A DAUGHTER TO SOMEONE RICH,DONT EVEN HAVE CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF???

it's people around me that make me like this

but thanks to ALLAH,there are still lots of people who accept me the way i am

my UMI,ABAH,SIBLINGS,KAKTI,HARIZ,HAFIY,HIDAYAH,IZZATI,HANI,RAHIL,SARAH,PAU,HALIMAH,

NABIHAH,ALIA,FATIN,MARDIANASYAKIRAH,ARIF,NASRULLAH,PIJAN and some other more.thanks so much! i really do LOVE you guys so much <3

pissed off =='

salam...

*ok,i still didnt forget to give my salam even though i'm totally pissed off right now*

sorry,i didnt mean to make a big fuse about what i'm feeling because it's not like anyone would care right but it's just that...i dont know.i have a really nagging pissed off feeling today,since afternoon.

ok,to be honest,i do know the reason why i'm feeling like this but cant write it down

many peoples have started reading my blog and some things are better left unsaid especially here*ahem*

i'm pissed off with so many things,like the fact that our hostel's internet is so damn slow*ok,sorry,bad word there* and urghh,i dont know,maybe everything in between

sorry,just this morning i post about being grateful and such and truth is,i really am GRATEFUL

it's just that,i'm a human,there are times when i'm angry,pissed off,bad mood etc etc...

but dont worry,i dont even show my mood in front of my friends.nobody know except me ;)

ok,feeling better now.writing our feeling is a very good theraphy :D

ps:maybe i will go to JUST tomorrow.but wanna ask more people to join me.Yarmouk's students to be precise.hmmm....wanna go or not???

review 2010 -da sume org buat,nk buat gk! -

salam...

ni namenyer entry x brfaedah

dr hari ke hari entry blog aku smkin x bfaedah rsenyer

sory sgt,insyaALLAH lps ni aku akan cube buatkan entry yg lbih brfaedah utk dibace

sbnrnye da lame pn msuk thn 2011 dan sume org da buat menatang alah ni,so aku tbe2 ngn hormon kegedikan bru pas abes exam tbe2 rse nk join the grup :D

well,alhamdulillah,tahun 2010 da lps

byk yg happen thn 2010 ni

pahit dan manis sume ader

hmm...review spintas lalu:

awal thn mule2 rilek dok umah je

sbb x g plkn

sbuk carik keje,g klia sume ngn dayah my dear besties time akhir bln 1

tp x dpt keje paper pn *ceh*

awl thn ni byk rehat sbb aku sakit sikit,tp sakit per,RAHSIA

then,tibe2 dayah ajk g mengajar kt skola rendah agama ptg skali ngn die

disbbkan boring x buat paper,aku pn join la

best gk gi mengajar ni,alhamdulillah,byk sgt pngalaman aku dpt =)

rindu sgt kt my dear students~

dlm mse yg sme aku ambk lsen kete *pdhl smpai skrg x abes2*

after that,dpt rslt spm bln 3

x dpt straight A's but still,alhamdulillah...

akhir bln dua,g satu prsmbhn dak2 KMB buat

nmpk G.A.P 4 the first time and pnjglah story  hinggelah sblum fly

spnjg tmpoh tu sangat byk KECEWA dan menangis dan paper je la

nsib baik kwn baik,NOR IZZATI JAHINI byk jd tmn stia

tp da lps,biar lepas

'dia' xtaw so da lps kan

akhir bln 4 dpt pnggilan ke INTEC

masuk la INTEC

mule2 sgt blur,mcm x taw per.mule2 kt ctu,sgt sdih,sbb xde kwn satu skola ='(

rase sunyi,rndah diri pn ader

sbb org lain sume dr sbp la,smka la

aku je skola bese2,rslt bese2.rase sangat la RENDAH DIRI

tp tmpoh kt INTEC sangat BEST!kenal byk kwn baru,dpt pengalaman baru

brtrusan smpai la bln 8

then raye,then terbang ke Jordan 

time kt Jordan ni,mule2,ceh,lg la,mmg HOMESICK gile2!

rase nk balik Malaysia je.siyes,mmg aku x prnh brmmpi nk blaja cni pn

aku da la x suke BAHASA ARAB

tp ALLAH lbih tahu,insyaALLAH....

byk happen kt cni

yarmouk,markaz lughoh,g jln2,g shopping kt balad XD

and smpai la final sem 1

byk yg happen last year,happy things,sakit,heartbroken yg mlmpau,hbungan yg mkin erat ngn family and old friends,sakit hati ngn kwn2 baru*ceh lg*,pnglmn kt tmpt baru,knl org ngn lbih dekat.hmmm...

ader stgh bnde tu sgt mnyesal tp bnde2 tu gk la yg byk bg pengajaran agr aku blaja utk jd BETTER

azam aku,xnk pkir yg da lps dan prkare x bfaedah lg.yg lepas biarkan lepas....

the rest is history

and i want to rest :D 

wassalam...

selamat tinggal utk kau,aku sudah x sabar nk brsama 'dia' yang bru :D

sudah lama aku bersamamu tp masa trasa bgaikan skejap berlalu

pejam celik,sudah setahun kita bersama

banyak kenangan yg kita bina bersama,pahit,manis,tawar,masam smuanya ada

stiap kali ku kenang,adakalanya ku ktawa sndiri,mnangis sndiri mcm org gila

aku paham,yang masa mncmburui kita,x ingin biar kita bersama lebih lama

detik yang berlalu,menandakan semakin singkat masa kita bersama

walaupun aku tahu kau mungkin cemburu,ttpi aku dlm diam,tidak sabar menantikan ketibaan 'dia'

kekasih hatiku yg baru

yg akan menemaniku slps ini

kepada kau,trima kasih krn stia brsamaku

wlaupun kau akan ku tinggalkan,kenangan bersamamu ttp kekal di ingatan

krn bersamamu,aku merasa pengalamn di tmpt baru,di negara orang

brsamamu aku mengenali orang baru

sungguh aku syg pdmu ttpi hatiku sudah terpaut pada 'dia'

aku x sbr mahu hidup bersama 'dia'

brsama harapan baru yg 'dia' bawa bersama

maafkan aku...

doakan aku...

selamat tinggal kepada kau:

2010

dan selamat datang kepada kau:

2011!!!!

boleh kita berkenalan????? :D

ps:haha,jgn trpedaya dgn ayt2 sblomnyer

hanya luahan hati tntg 2010 yg akan brlalu...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

story di markaz lughoh,hormati la cikgu kite weyh

salam..

tajuk entry x bole blah,mcm mengarut pun ader tp xpe la

straight to the main point

mcm sume taw*pdhl xtaw*,1st sem kt yarmouk uni ni,aku ambk kls MARKAZ LUGHOH dulu

kelas ni khas utk org luar yg bkn arab yg nk blaja kt cni

bler mule2 smpai dlu,b4 bole tsjil madah*dftr subjek*,ktorng kne amk exam dlu

exam utk mnntukan thp kter kt mrkz lughoh tu

klu kter dpt thp mustawa robi ba,xyh g mrkz lughoh pn xpe,nk g pn bole

tp klu g,bole ambk 2 sbjek je kt jamiah*klu x g bole ambk min 4,max 6 sbjek*

alhamdulillah,biiznillah aku lps

tp aku buat kputusan nk ambk

skrg tnggl lg smnggu je mrkz lughoh

rser mcm cpt btul mase brlalu

tp aku x bper nkpuas ati ngn bbrape classmates aku,yg syabab shj yer

sbbnyer,nk taw knp???

dorg buat mrkz lughoh tu mcm bapak dorg pnyer

suke ati je nk dtg bler

klu x suke sbjek or dr tu,dorg x dtg

ok,aku akui dlu aku pn pnh nk kluar dr mrkz lughoh n at first rser mcm mnyesal join pn ader 

tp aku xdpt kuar sbb klu kuar kne byr yuran pnuh so aku buat kputusan stay je la

aku pn jahat dulu,kdg2 mls nk g kls tp aku da mnyesal

and skrg aku g je

except klu aku tbe2 ader exam aritu

mslhnyer,ader sorg mamat sengal ni,aku x taw la aper mslh die

die x kuar dr mrkz lughoh tp slalu x dtg

klu dtg pn,satu kelas je,istima pastu blah

smpaikan dr2 yg ajr ktorng pn da taw

aklu taw ader dr yg trase

smlm,mamat sengal ni dtg kls istima

dr ala perli die

ckp r,'awk  ni mcm bln purnama.dlm sbulan skali dua je sy nmpk muke awk'

psnn aku kt mamat sengal ni:

weyh,aku taw r ko pndai,FINE

tp per hak ko buat cmtu?dorg tu ttp ckgu ko k

klu kter skitkan ati ckgu kter,dosa kan?

ko ingt kuliah jamiaah je yg pnting?

klu ckgu mrkz lughoh ko x redha ngn ko,smer gk

so baik ko insaf cpt2

mntk maaf cpt2 ngn dktor2 mrkz lughoh

xtaw la nk ckp per

aku pn pnh jd ckgu

aku pnh trase ngn ank murid aku so aku taw cmner dr mrkz lughoh rser

aku pn byk slh ngn ckgu mrkz lughoh gk

smtimes x siapkan keje sume

asifah jiddan dktur~

the rest is story

wassalam

sory klu bhse agk kasar

the forgettable me...always NOW and FOREVER

salam...

the title did sound weird a lil bit right?

but i know deeply the meaning of it

about me,i'm not the type of person who are easy to approach

so if i ever approach you first,then you are LUCKY :)

it doesnt meant that i dont know how to make friends

NO!nothing like that

it's just that,it's hard for people to know the real me

they always know the STRICT,SERIOUS me that they saw from outside

i always hear things like;

'owh,i didnt know that you are like that at all'

'you look different from the first time i saw and talk to you'

'why you look really cold from outside?"

yeah,hear it many times

it just that,i took longer time to become close with anyone new

but i do LOVE meeting NEW FRIENDS!

it's a fantastic thing!

i admit that i'm not the famous type of person

and i'm often forgotten by my friends

such like i dont exist

and they never bother to ask what my opinion

and always listen to what other people told about me

it hurts my feelings a lot

this kind of things has happen SO MANY TIMES before

ex: all my friends are discussing about going somewhere

and i said 'hey,i want to go too,let's go together!'

the others said: 'okay,that's cool!'

then other friends ask : 'hey,are u going there?i'm goin but on X day.the others are going on X days.u want to join me or them?'

i answer: 'i'll go with them'

tomorrow,the other friends ask again: 'are you going to that place?i'm  not going'

i said: 'i'm not going,sorry.i'll go on X days with others'

then suddenly,on X days,someone from the others call and asked me about a place in X place and i answer ' i dont know.hey,you guys are going to X place tomorrow or not?'

the others answer: 'we are already there la,eh,that person told me you dont want to go.'

BAM!the shocked of hearing that

i said: ' i never said that.i DO WANT TO GO!but with u guys,not here.i've told before,right??nevermind...'

the thing is,it never is nevermind with me

i DO CARE!they always treat me like that.saying that they forgot to ask me,or saying that they hear from someone else that i'm not going.why they never bother to CALL and CONFIRM it with me?

why hear from someone else?now that they already know how to go,just tossed me aside.like i'm an outsider,didnt exist at all

why i'm always being the one forgotten?

this thing happen so many time before.and it hurt my heart so much

MY FRIENDS,IF YOU REALLY DO CALL ME YOUR FRIEND,

PLEASE TREAT ME BETTER,DONT FORGET BOUT ME

AND JUST COME TO ME IF YOU WANT ANY FAVOR OR HELP

AND LET ME ALONE WHEN YOU GUYS ARE HAVING FUN

I'M HAVING MANY PROBLEMS BUT NONE OF U COME TO ME AND ASK ME IF ANYTHING IS WRONG WITH ME OR NOT

ARE YOU REALLY CONSIDERING YOURSELF AS MY FRIEND????

dont wanna say more,the rest is history

i'm FORGETTING and FORGIVING,

like what i ALWAYS DO..